Tag Archives: phobia

So Happy To Be Here!!!

Well so here we are, coming up on the end of the month and I am so happy we moved here!  I am loving the weather!  In all of April and so far May we have had maybe 2 severe weather warnings, which I can handle. If I were still in Texas, I would have had a couple of heart attacks by now with all the crazy weather they have been having.

I have a huge fear of severe weather! Total anxiety attacks, passing out, loss of appetite, upset stomach, hot flashes, raising heartbeat.  The whole nine yards!  That’s one reason why I wanted out of Texas.  The atmosphere there is just crazy!  We were at a picinic this past weekend and it was perfect outside and I heard some people saying how humid and warm it was.  Hahaha, what!!!! If that was hot and humid then I am happy we are here!  It was nothing compared to the heat and humidity in Texas!

Most of April it’s been in the 60’s which is perfect for me and there is usually always a light breeze.  LOVES IT!!!!!! Minus the weather, there are so many nice people here!  I can’t tell you how many people have welcomed us to the area and told us how much we will love it here.  Its such a pleasant change compared to where we were at.  So many people before were rude and it was as if manners were non-excistant.

Our new place is so cute and the perfect size for us.  It’s quiet and the neighbors seem very nice.  There are a lot of children around, which is a good sign.  Hopefully by time we have kids, there will still be kids around here.  The drive to mom and dads is nice and its nice to be able to come over and do dinner whenever. I love it!  I can’t say so much for the doggies.  They are used to a backyard where they can freely run around.  Here we have communal backyard with no fences which means they have to be on leashes everytime we go out.  When we were at my parents they were still able run around so now that they have to get used to the leash and harness.  Its slow going but they will just have to get used to it.

In any case, I am so happy here!

Sunday, March 8th, 2015

So if you read my Back History, you would have seen where I fell down the stairs in college.  This did a lot of damage to my lower back that I am still dealing with (9 years later). So when ever the weather changes or there is a front coming through, I can feel it several days prior and it really causes a lot of pain and discomfort.

Well, because of all the cold fronts that have come through this year, it has been hard for my back and body to recover and so most days I don’t do much; I don’t want to mess it up and have to do tons of physical therapy again.

This causes issues when trying to pack.  In the past, every time we have moved, my husband had to do most of the packing and moving because of my back being out.  This time, since we are moving where I want to go, I didn’t think it was fair for him to have to do all the work solo again.

My goal was to pack most of our stuff this month, since I won’t be here next month, but tonight when I had planned to pack some boxes, my back started hurting and I gave in to defeat.

I try not to complain a lot about my back, but it is definitely becoming a challenge when I am trying to pack.

Aside from my back issues, I am also fighting hoarder issues.  I love my stuff and I am the type of person that has a hard time throwing something away that I may be able to use later.  Except I have stuff that I have not touched for several years and doubt I will touch it anytime soon.  So it would make sense to clean house.  Also, after seeing our new place and how they decorated it has made me want to de-clutter and live a more minimalist life.

Yesterday, I was packing a couple of boxes and taking decorations off the wall and all of a sudden I got very overwhelmed.  I had boxes everywhere and stuff everywhere and felt like the walls were closing in.  So much stuff. I want to be as organized as possible with what I am putting into boxes.  I don’t want to put decor with games, I want to do a box for games and boxes for decor.  A little OCD with that.

I stood there spinning in place, thinking oh my, how am I going to be able to do all this by myself.  Just then, my husband came home and saved me from packing.  Hahahaha.  I gave up for the day and got 1 box of games packed. Not too far.  All together I have packed 1 box of garage sale dishes and the box of games.  I don’t feel like I will meet this goal.

This brought something up that I think is funny/weird…. I am somewhat of a germaphobe, but in a really weird way.  I can’t do bodily fluids very well, I don’t like doing dishes because touching “dirty” food grosses me out (plus I have a hard time handling hot water), I don’t like cleaning because dust stirs up and gets my allergies going, and I don’t like dusting, because of what dust is made of.  I would rather see a mess and ignore it than clean it up.  Not because of laziness, but because it’s dirty and it grosses me out to touch it.  The feeling of dirt/dust on my hands makes me want to gag, but thats another issue (textilephobia).

This is going to be a process for sure and I hope I can get through it without my husband having to do all the work.  He works hard to provide for us and to make me happy, if I can do this one thing for him, I know it will make a big difference for him in making this transition easier.