9 Months ago, I decided to go back to work. We didn’t need the money, but the offer came up to go back to a company I had worked with before and I just had the strongest feeling that God wanted me there. I didn’t know why, but I wasn’t going to question him.
So I went back on a contract basis for 3 months with the intention of staying longer. We decided to put all my paychecks in savings and try to pay off debt and allow me to get insurance.
I thought God brought me back to whip the office into shape, but without authority, that wasn’t going to work. Things in the office were starting to get crazy and we were about to start this huge project and I’m just sitting there thinking, I don’t think I am going to be able to handle this. I just had to pray about it and trust that God had brought me here for a reason.
3 Months later, we extended my contract until March 2015, “the end of the project”, we knew I would be there past the 3 month mark, but I did get a small raise. There are 5 groups to this project and groups 3 and 4 are the biggest. The first group had about 60 people, the second group had about 200 people, groups 3 and 4 had about 400 people each, and the last group had about 200 people. That’s 1,260 people, give or take that I was in charge of. Each person required about an hours worth of work on my part and I had 9 months to do all that I needed to do. There was no way.
We asked for help several times, but was denied and it wasn’t until February 2015, when the boss saw how far behind I was and after I told him we were officially moving, that he finally brought someone in. I can’t tell you how thrilled I was, because I was drowning and there was no light at the end. I was moody, my depression was coming back, I was starting to resent my coworkers, and annoying my husband with the amount of complaining I was doing. I also gave up a lot. I gave up sleep, my zen, all that i had worked for to get my zen, my bible study, my dogs freedom, and a possible baby (I had a very early miscarriage, and although I can’t prove that this job caused it, I can say that all the stress I was under, didn’t help.)
The girl that was to relieve me from part of my job, was very impressive. She was twice as fast as me, I will humbly admit that. She caught on so fast and was doing so well that I knew she would be the perfect replacement for my position after we left. The project is being extended so they will need someone after my contract is up.
I wanted to quit every week but didn’t want to give up on God. I thought I knew why he had brought me here, but I was wrong. I know now, he brought me here so we could save a nest egg. So we could finally move to Kansas. Without it I’d (I’d say we but the hubs is doing this for me) be stuck here. Now I can finally follow my dream of reconnecting with my family.
So, here I am, March is here and I am just so excited that this is my last month and I can see the light and I’m no longer drowning, I’m able to tread at this moment. This is now catch up time, let’s get all caught up before I leave everyone. I was still very busy, but I know the end of the crazy is near and that is an awesome feeling.
4 Weeks left, then 3 weeks, then 2 weeks, and finally my last week is here and I am so stinking excited! I got to come in later on a couple of days and got to leave early on my last day, which was great because the company took me out to lunch and the girls I work with gave me some very sweet and thoughtful gifts.
Yesterday was my last day….. I am now free! Free to sleep in, to take lunch when ever I want, to dress how I like, to not brush my hair. Hahaha
Just free….. *sigh of relief
Stress is starting to melt away and I can feel my blood pressure lowering. Now I can get my life back.